Courting vs. Dating

When we were much younger, after reading and discussing books with Mom and sometimes Dad, we came to the conclusion that courtship would be the route we would like to take for marriage.

Courtship is for couples seriously considering marriage in order to get to know each other better. It still gives the opportunity to say "I think this is not going to work out for us". You should not even consider courtship until you are pretty sure that this is the person you would like to live with for the rest of your lives, though it is not actually an engagement.

Dating is basically just a way of spending one on one time together as a couple. Most people don't go into it thinking it could lead to marriage. There are many people who date a lot of different people just for the fun of it, with many breakups and then finding new boy friends and girl friends. The pattern just repeats, causing many hurt feelings. This seems to be just practicing for divorce.

Just normal friendships with male and females together is appropriate until someone is interested in courting. Often times young ladies wonder how a guy will ever get to know them personally without one on one time together, but probably any young men would like to see how we behave with other people, noticing how we treat guys and girls, seeing how our relationship is with the Lord and if we're respectful to our parents, siblings and other people. Hopefully, when a guy is interested he would try to find time to be together with us and our family more often, then he would go to our father and ask for permission to court. If we all decide that this is good, then we would agree to a courtship.

In a courtship we would spend time together with each others' families, friends and in groups, never completely alone for long periods of time in order to guard our purity, asking more personal questions, making sure we are compatible to spend a life time together.

A good book we recommend for all ladies to read is "So Much More" by Anna Sofia Botkin & Elizabeth Botkin
It discusses many different issues that young ladies go through.

You can visit "Courtship Resources" Squidoo Lens that we created to read about and purchase books that we have enjoyed about courtship vs. dating.

1) http://www.squidoo.com/courtship



58188: Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under  Christ"s Control Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ's Control By Elisabeth Elliot / Baker In Passion and Purity, Elisabeth Elliot emphasizes the need to commit daily to Christ all matters of the heart and to wait upon Him. She teaches this often painful yet rewarding discipline by candidly tracing her love story with Jim Elliot as evidence that she has been there. Through letters, diary entries, and memories, she shares the temptations, difficulties, victories, and sacrifices of two young people whose commitment to Christ took priority over their love for each other. Passion and Purity gives honest direction in such areas as: loving passionately while remaining sexually pure, whether or not to marry, who is the right one, the man's and woman's role in relationships, how far is too far physically, and putting God's desires ahead of personal desires.
58218: Quest for Love: True Stories of Passion and Purity Quest for Love: True Stories of Passion and Purity By Elisabeth Elliot / Baker In QUEST FOR LOVE, the companion to PASSION AND PURITY, Elisabeth Elliot shares many of the letters she has received from her readers. She responds to their confusion and heartfelt needs with sound, biblical guidance. She dusts off "antiquated" concepts such as commitment, integrity, honor, and servanthood and applies them to dating and singleness today. Intertwined with the questioning letters are hopeful stories of how men and women discovered love through God's direction. As you read their honest revelations, you'll be able to "discern the better way" by discovering what happened when they put their love life under the authority of Jesus Christ.
58212: Elisabeth Elliot Set, 2 Volumes Passion and Purity & Quest for Love Elisabeth Elliot Set, 2 Volumes Passion and Purity & Quest for Love By Elisabeth Elliot / Baker Guidance on dating, marriage, abstinence, and more! In Passion & Purity and Quest for Love, Elliot reminds your sons and daughters of the importance of "antiquated" concepts like integrity, honor, and daily commitment to Christ's authority---even in matters of the heart. She candidly points to a better way as she shares her personal love story, plus letters and testimonies from her readers. Approx. 220 pages each, two softcovers from Baker.
42325: The Purity Principle - audiobook on CD The Purity Principle - audiobook on CD By Randy Alcorn / Hovel Audio Inc. For thirty years Randy Alcorn has been encouraging people-young and old-to pursue the rewards of sexual purity. Too often we settle for a compromised Christianity that's just a baptized version of the world's sad existence, rather than the abundant life to which God calls us. This book deals with raising children to embrace sexual purity, providing an example of purity in the home, protecting purity in dating (at any age), and maintaining purity in marriage. Unabridged. 2 CDs. 2 Hours, 10 minutes. Read by Lloyd James.
Click on this link to see all the I Kissed Dating Goodbye Books I Kissed Dating Goodbye
521950: The Purity Principle: God"s Guardrails on Life"s Dangerous Roads The Purity Principle: God's Guardrails on Life's Dangerous Roads
By Randy Alcorn / Multnomah

Looking for a way to open up discussions about sexual integrity with your family---or at your church? Alcorn's biblical, practical one-stop handbook deals with everything from teaching young children about sexuality to relationship principles for teenagers, older singles, and married couples; from special advice for those in ministry to transforming hope for those sorely tempted. 96 pages, hardcover from Multnomah.

It's Never to Soon to Teach Your Children About Purity!

A good book that we recommend for reading to younger children about purity is "The Princess and the Kiss" and "The Squire and the Scroll". We have read them aloud in our family Sunday School class at our church. All the children liked it and they seemed to understand the concept.
628686: The Princess and the Kiss The Princess and the Kiss
By Jennie Bishop / Warner Press

A loving king and queen present their daughter with a gift from God--her first kiss--to keep or to give away. The wise girl waits for the man who is worthy of her precious gift. Where is he and how will she ever find him? The surprising answer in this marvelous parable will touch the heart of parent and child alike.

The Princess and the Kiss beautifully portrays the ageless message that "love ... comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith" (1 Timothy 1:5 NIV). Recommended for all ages, especially ages 6 and up.

170793: The Squire and the Scroll: A Tale of the Rewards of a Pure Heart The Squire and the Scroll: A Tale of the Rewards of a Pure Heart
By Jennie Bishop / Warner Press

Little girls worldwide have embraced Jennie Bishop's best-selling morality tale The Princess and the Kiss--and ever since its publication, parents have been clamoring for a companion book for boys. Here's the answer! This captivating adventure follows a young squire who travels a long, dangerous road beside his brave knight on a quest for their king. The action builds until the final face-off with the monstrous, evil dragon. Only then does the Squire learn of the secret beyond the cave that ends in a joyous celebration for the entire kingdom.

Children will gain valuable insight as they learn, along with the young squire, what it means to face the dangers of temptation, and what it takes to guard one's heart from all that is impure. Recommended for ages 6 and up.

62868X: The Princess and the Kiss/ The Squire and the Scroll The Princess and the Kiss/ The Squire and the Scroll
By Jennie Bishop / Warner Press

Whimsically illustrated, the Jennie Bishop Set of storybooks offers "his and hers" lessons on the timeless virtues of purity and courage. In The Princess and the Kiss, a king and queen present their daughter with a gift from God---to keep or give away. And in The Squire and the Scroll, a brave young lad fearlessly defends "the lantern of purest light" against all enemies---including a fire-breathing dragon! Approx. 32 pages each, hardcovers, Warner.
76866X: The Princess and the Kiss, The Squire and the Scroll, and The  Garden Wall 3-Volume Set The Princess and the Kiss, The Squire and the Scroll, and The Garden Wall 3-Volume Set
By Warner Press

Once upon a time a princess is given a precious gift, a dashing squire fights a dragon, and two friends create a walled garden. Lavishly illustrated parables about love and purity! Hardcovers.

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